My one-year old daughter doesn’t know much about clocks, theories of time, or the history of Daylight Savings Time (DST). However, she does know one thing - the silliness that is DST needs to end. Not just every Autumn, but for good. She has made her thoughts on the subject loud and clear for the past week when she gets up at 4:30 - 5:00 instead of her customary 5:30 - 6:00. When she stands in her crib and cries in the a.m. she is not searching for her parents. Rather, she is exercising her democratic rights as an American by calling out to her elected representatives (believe me, with those lungs, they can hear her in Washington D.C.). We hear “wah, wah, wah, sob, wah.” In reality, she is saying “this is madness, stop messing with clocks... and get me some milk right now.”
Although the many effects of DST include health, economic, public safety, and technical concerns, the key driver for the practice is energy savings. The idea was that we waste daylight during the morning hours while our shades are drawn. Instead, shift the clocks so we have that hour of daylight in the evening when our species is more active. Electricity conserved. Sounds good. However, studies abound that show an energy savings ambiguity, at best. Depending on the inputs to the study (lighting, heating/cooling, peak demand, transportation, latitude, etc.), it seems you win some, you lose some. DST just might be an energy savings wash. If it were a game of energy blackjack in Vegas, we’d have a push. So why put our natural circadian rhythm through these biannual shenanigans?
But I’m a realist and know repeal will be an uphill battle. Therefore, barring abolishment of this self-imposed DST trickery, I would like to propose similar measures to ease the burden:
- Daylight Stimulus Time. In the Spring, I would like to forward my bank account by $10,000 so I can afford to take part in all these new found Summer evening daylight opportunities. Sunscreen for longer beach days, neighborhood barbecues awash in sunlight, iced beer coolers, sunlit picnics in the park - these all have negative effects on my finances.
- Daylight Thermometer Time. I don’t like hot summer days. The New Jersey average summer temperature is too hot for my tastes. So, let’s shift the Fahrenheit scale and drop 10 degrees from the thermometer every June. A summertime average temperature of 72 degrees sounds much more reasonable.
- Daylight Distance Time. So we can take advantage of the extended daylight, it would be nice to get to places faster. So, in the Spring, let’s add 1,000 feet to a standard mile. This way, if my car speedometer says I’m going 60 miles per hour, I can naturally cover more ground and get there faster.
I hope my elected representatives are reading this. If so, dear Congressperson, crane your ear towards New Jersey tomorrow morning around 4:30 a.m. - my daughter will be standing on her pulpit/crib mattress, shouting a shrill message to remind you of our DST wackiness.
