A bill to fully recognize same-sex marriage in the State of New Jersey was once again introduced. Many legislators who voted against a like bill in 2010 have said that they would turn their votes about and vote in favor of passage this time around. We have a governor who has stated he will not sign such a bill should it come to his desk. And the beat goes on…
Of the people I speak to now, just as in 2010, those who are in favor of passage of this bill are vehemently so and those opposed likewise. Can’t say that I have run into anyone who has no opinion at all. For those in opposition I will always ask, “So why are you so adamantly against same-sex marriage?” Almost to a person they will reply with a question, “Well, what does that say about my marriage or the institution of marriage if gays are allowed to marry?”
To this I counter, “Okay, what does it say about your marriage or the institution of marriage?” I am a pretty old duck and I have asked this question of many people over a good many years. The response has been, almost to a person, “Ah, well, I think, really…hm. Well if you can get married then my marriage…my marriage…ah…well then that means that the marriage of anyone is…ah, well – I don’t think it’s a good thing because…yadda, yadda, yadda.”
I have been told that legalizing gay marriage will make less of everyone else’s marriage. How so? A politician recently pontificating said that the legalizing of gay marriage would be an ‘abomination’. A noted archbishop very recently given the nod by the Vatican to enter the College of Cardinals said last year when asked about the possible approval of gay marriage in the State of New York, “God, not Albany, has settled the definition of marriage a long time ago.” This is not the church’s domain – we have separation of church and state in this country. Like it or not – God didn’t get a vote in New York State. Ah, and the beat goes on…
The divorce rate in this country is at close to 50 percent in the heterosexual community. What exactly does that figure say about marriage in general? For the purist: what does the fact that many folks no longer feel a need to marry at all and just live together say? And, what say they about the still more couples worldwide who chose to have two or three kids before they finally marry. Do they make less of your marriage? Silly me, that’s different, of course, because they are one man and one woman. And the beat goes on…
I do not believe that any church, synagogue or other religious institution should be forced to marry within their faith anyone who they do not feel fits their qualifications. I don’t agree with this treatment but this is America and we have separation of church and state. What, who said that?
There is no way to predict what will happen when this bill comes to a vote in New Jersey. I’ve heard of late that if the governor refuses to sign it, as he has promised to do, but lets it sit on his desk for 45 days then it can pass without his signature. I don’t think that will happen.
Still, lingering in the back of my mind is that question: ‘What does it say about your marriage or the institution of marriage?’ Are those of you who so fear legalizing of my right to marry concerned about the strength of your own union? Can you not rise to the occasion and make the life you share with another the epitome of marriage, a shining example of all that marriage can be? Can you not rejoice in my desire to meet the example you could set? It is so very sad - the example that the self-righteous set, so very sad. And the beat goes on…
C.M. McLoughlin, a writer and editor from New Jersey and New York, can be reached at mcloughlin43@gmail.com.
People use the Bible/Torah/Koran to justify anything.
in numbers 15:32 a man was stoned to death for doing a menial task of gathering firewood on the sabbath. but christ's love said woman actually caught in adultery was to be forgiven rather than stoned. what does christ's love say about homosexuality. is it a violation of loving your neighbor as yourself "as i loved you" if so, how?
Second, whatever anyone else, gay or straight, does in their marriage has no affect whatever on my marriage. Third, the institution of marriage is under attack by many factors, such as divorce, cohabitation etc. Gay marriage is not one of them
People are free not to believe in God the way we do, of course. That's about faith, though, and I think we have to respectfully acknowledge that we may all never agree, nor do we have to. Now we are looking to protect our most important relationship legally, civilly, so that we are not legal strangers to one another. We share a house, a car, a mortgage, bills, decisions about what to have for dinner and decisions about life and death. Heterosexual couples get to protect their most important relationship with a single marriage contract. We need to protect ours as well. I don’t understand why anyone would want to actively prevent us from doing that.
While God is referenced throughout America's founding documents and slogans, the first Amendment to the U.S. Constitution—the same document EVERY elected official is SWORN BY GOD to uphold—contains the unavoidable Establishment Clause, the provision that prohibits the federal and state governments from establishing an official religion, or from favoring or disfavoring one view of religion over another." In God We Trust. Have you forgotten that God, who created the heavens and earth, also created humans and with it humanity? Clearly there are homosexuals in this world, none of whom started out choosing to be gay—regardless of what you've been brainwashed into believing. So God crated homosexuals as part of human diversity and part of life and nature on this little blue marble in the sky. In God We Trust—where's YOUR trust? "God Bless America" is a command. It should be, "MAY God Bless America," a plea. It's brazen to say the least that we should be telling the Almighty what He ought to be blessing. Endowed by the Almighty with certain INALIENABLE RIGHTS. Do you know what INALIENABLE means? It means those rights that should NEVER be put up for a vote to be taken away. Those rights include the pursuit of happiness AND equal protection under the law. If my heart leads me to another man or another woman, then that is my brand of happiness, harming no other in the process. WAKE UP AND SMELL THE HISTORY BEING MADE. YOU ARE ON THE WRONG SIDE OF IT.
People can base their personal choices on whatever God they choose to follow or not. But civil rights are just that - civil, human rights. Not Christian rights, not Jewish rights. All law-abiding, U.S. Citizens should be treated equally, and be provided the same opportunities to provide security to their family. No church should be required to marry anyone who does not subscribe to their beliefs, but no church should be allowed to deny a civil marriage to two consensual adults just because they don't agree with that particular church's beliefs. Believe it or not, the Christian Church did not invent the concept of marriage, it has changed in nature over centuries. Keep your Holy Matrimony - but give us all our Civil Marriage. And STILL no one has answered the question: How does allowing gay marriage damage, degrade, or in any way affect hetero marriage? I don't think "bothering spiritual beliefs" is an acceptable argument. Steak restaurants may bother Vegans, but that doesn't give them the right to make eating meat illegal.
It just means that our christian beliefs are based on what God has ordained as law in the Bible, marriage is an institution of one man and one woman, and it was that law that our constitution was written upon. The constitution was left open by man, with flexibility to change because man knew the world would drastically change from the time it was written. Even God knew that. The commandments, however, were written by God with no flexibility of change, because God said what He meant and meant what He said. Man has a choice to do or not to do, God loved us that much, He lets it be our choice on who to love, who to marry, and what to believe. Just don't forget what He did out of love for you.
I know there has been confusion about exactly where God states that marriage cannot be between a man and a woman. The bible has recently been rewritten to better portray exactly what the original version had said, so it is very possible, very likely, that God's exact message was somewhat skewed. Would you tell us the exact excerpt from the bible that says that it can only be between a man and a woman and that it is a SIN for a man to marry another man? Also, u would need to speak latin an whatever other languages that were incorporated in the original bible in order to truly understand what God had meant. Also, as the article does state, the church is (supposedly) separate from the government. Therefore, it makes no sense that marriage cannot be LEGAL (a political word, am i wrong?) because God (a purely religious figure, yes?) says (and we do not even have clear proof of this) that it is wrong. A counter argument can be made that murder is against gods will and is also illegal; but murder harms other people. Two people who are in love marrying one another is in no way hurting someone else. Therefore, Gods apparent viewpoint should not even be taken into consideration when the LAW determines whether same-sex marriage should be legal. Thank you