Midnight Same-Sex Marriages in Red Bank

When Red Bank Councilman Ed Zipprich and now husband JP Nicolaides said they were getting married in the morning, they meant it — the very first thing in the morning, as in a historic stroke of midnight on Monday morning, Oct. 21.

It's something the openly gay councilman and his life partner have been waiting many years to do where they live and love. And they did not want to wait a minute more than they had to. And they no longer had to.

After having been together for about 17 years, the couple made their commitment to one another as official as they could in a civil union in June of 2011.

But, once they found out the unanimous decision was made by the court to decline Gov. Chris Christie’s request for a stay on the ruling that civil marriage licenses be granted to same-sex couples beginning Monday, the two made their own decision to get married as soon as they possibly could.

"We are standing up to marry each other in a world that is coming to the realization that we really are just like everyone else," Nicolaides said before the ceremony. "Love is love. We are making a statement by being first in line in our town because we have fought long and hard for equality and we want to be married as soon as possible and to have as long and happy a marriage as we can.

"I want kids who feel excluded or ashamed or scared that they are different to see the joy in our faces, and on the faces of our families and friends, to give them proof and hope that it really does get better. Our love for each other is no longer a different class of love. Our love for each other no longer has separate rules. Our love for each other is as perfect and imperfect as any other love."

And Zipprich was the one who started rallying the marriage troops the second he knew he could. Mayor Pat Menna ordered the borough clerk to issue the licenses. "It was the right thing to do," he said. "And I give Pam Borghi (borough clerk) an awful lot of credit.  She did her job and did it well. And when the pressure was put on by nameless, faceless bureaucrats in Trenton, she said doggedly to me 'It's the right thing for us to do.'"

Zipprich, in the meantime, was driven, dialing and texting.

"I made three phone calls immediately when I heard the decision Friday," Zipprich said.

"I called JP and we had an emotional conversation about the fact that Monday we would be married. We have been waiting so long for this day. Then I called our daughter at work in Boston. She said, 'Don't you think I should come home on Sunday dad?' I said, 'We would love to have you with us. Book a flight and we can't wait to see you Sunday!'

"'Then I called my 86-year-old mom in NY and asked her if she could stay up till midnight on Sunday because John Paul and I were getting married. She said, 'I will try and congratulations to you both.'"

And the calling — or texting — didn't stop there. Zipprich then decided that it should be a family-neighbor affair. With another gay couple, Marlee and Laura, living a few houses away, he thought they might like to get their marriage licenses and take the civil union to the marriage level in Red Bank at the Monday midnight hour as well.

They called in friend Colleen Mahr, mayor of Fanwood, to officiate. And, Mayor Pat Menna lives on the same street, too. So, of course, he was there and beaming with pride and happiness for the couples.

And, for that matter, so were several council members: Sharon Lee, Kathy Horgan and Juanita Lewis — thrilled, cheering and teary eyed all the way through.

It's a fact that Zipprich and Nicolaides were the first to get married in Red Bank, at what was probably just a few minutes after midnight. But, it has not yet been confirmed if they were the first in the state.

"If their vows weren't so long, they may have been," joked Lee, who was overjoyed for the two.

It was always a simple want for both couples that came with a complicated struggle for gay rights. Mostly, Zipprich said, it's about love — being able to openly love who you want to love and be afforded the same rights heterosexual couples have always assumed.

Their story is not unlike one of any other married couple. They met, fell in love and decided to get married. But this couple couldn't. They weren't allowed.

Nicolaides and Zipprich met about 17 years ago at the espresso bar in Nordstrom's on Superbowl Sunday. They've been together ever since, Zipprich said.

"Our love has brought us many joys," Zipprich said. "We have a stronger relationship because we have worked hard, like so many other couples who are determined to make it work. It's not always easy. We are just like every other married couple. Now we can say that for sure! Sometimes we disagree loudly, but we know we can because we are anchored in the security of our loving relationship and believe in each other."

The two shed a few tears of happiness during the ceremony, choked on a few words in their vows and sighed a couple of sighs of "finally" relief that their dream was coming true.

"Growing up, I never expected to be able to participate in raising a child, or to celebrate my own marriage, legally and with the support of those I love so dearly," Nicolaides said. "Because of my relationship with Ed, I now get both! I have it all!"

Stay tuned for our video of milestone moments of both marriage ceremonies. And, congrats to Ed and JP and Laura and Marlee!